Unravel… This way? That way?

Ever sat down and question your purpose in this universe, like where you’re headed, every step of your journey, if things are taking shape and all that?

I’ve been trying to figure this for quite some time now. I never got the chance to tell you about my second tragic accident, how I survived it, only He knows. I believe there’s a reason to it, this not being the first time I cheated on death, you know about my first accident.

Ever felt like you’re an instrument, in an experiment of some sort? Reason you come across certain people in life and how you influence their behavior vice versa? Ever felt like you’re Frank from sausage party or some character in a movie given that if a book or show was based on your life it’d be a bestseller?

I try finding the most exhilarating event of my life either through people and through the journey of whom I’m meant to be.

Who’s even sure of what they’re supposed to become? Sometimes we hide, pretend and we keep ourselves busy trying to distract our minds but we can never ignore that voice calling inside us. A voice that is only distinctively meant for us.

Most of the the times we crave aliveness and fulfillment in people and in the process we find ourselves wasting energy and heartache continually chasing the things that will fill us up.

We’re the ones in charge of our destiny by the choices we make each day. This one time I lost my identity through social media, something I never talked about only to realize it can destroy someone if not carefully managed. I’ll talk about this in my next piece.

Surrounding ourselves with the things we love and engaging in desired activities really has an effect.

There’s nothing better than kickstarting each day with the ability to fully express yourself and inspire those around you. In doing so setting values for yourself and honoring them. Stand for something and let it push you daily. Through this you’ll get rid of the mediocre, the ordinary, people’s expectations and opinions.

You’re allowed to be a badass once in a while, you don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea, or going with the programmed theme of society with misguided teachings and mindsets that will push you off track .

I try orienting my life to what excites me and looking for adventure that I feel calls from within.

The next hour isn’t guaranteed, leave alone tomorrow. Set yourself out and go knocking down each boundary you’ve created and help others along the way find their potential.

Ask yourself what’s stopping you from being happy and work on getting rid of it. Remember everything you come across and going through is preparing you for something big, let every lesson be worth it and don’t forget to be grateful. And pray and pray and pray.

Be good do good.

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Reconnect : In Pursuit of Happiness, My way.

Who wakes up at 2am and just laughs at the mistake they made a few days back ? Well you guessed right, that’s me, only that this time the mistake is a word pronunciation I made while we were going through the list of the most spoken lingua in Africa with my workmates.

I came across “Berber” and pronounced it as written. One of my workmates bursts out laughing but the other one moderately corrects me. I pull off a quick one telling them the berber I’m referring to is a tribe in Somalia. Well played Moulid well played, I pat myself on the back.

But hey did you know Swahili is the most spoken language in Africa with over 100 million speakers, and that researchers find those who crack self-depreciating jokes to be happier and more sociable, well you can read about the latter Here and thank me later.

So back to reality, I have been procrastinating for quite sometime now when it comes to writing. I’ve been selfishly writing for myself not sharing it out with you guys, always avoiding nagging questions from close friends on when I’ll be putting up something on my blog. I had to take a small break, as usual.

Is this age catching up with me? at 27 I feel super old and a bit left behind trying to catch up with life. 26 was one eye opening stage. I failed in a lot of things, businesses startups, relationships, pursuit of small dreams and a few things I’ll share with you along the way when the time is right. But 2017 ended in the best of ways, the last three months to be precise and the lessons learnt will always be invaluable.

Remember when I told you I find solace in depressing music a while back? Now I find it in people who’re going through tough times in their life and food and lots of food.

This one day I woke up to a post on Facebook of some guy who had committed suicide. I was shocked given that the guy seemed to be one happy soul from his posts on social media. Never knew him in person but It really left me feeling empty. So I decided from then I’d be checking up on a friend or even a stranger, analyze what they post on social media, and the ones I could reach out to physically I talked to them one on one, try finding out what they’re going through.

It was one of the best decision I made up to this moment, as people even strangers could open up to you when you decided to listen and be part of them.

This one time some matatu driver on my way from Mtwapa told me about his dreams and how they were shattered by the mistakes and choices he made, how no one ever got to listen to his story, how he normally perceived things, I listened to him and gave him some encouraging words and to my surprise his energy changed and he was really optimistic on what was ahead. I usually tell the people close to me about my “big ears“, I can listen to you all day and I’ll speak less.

Listening, I realized also helped me in a big way. Removing people’s obstacles, the ones created by their minds,setting up boundaries that they think can’t be broken, became a norm. I had to check up on anyone going through a rough patch. I’d travel miles just to sit down with someone and listen to their story.

It reached a point to where I was overwhelmed and it really had an effect on me, I opened up to a friend and it did help me. (Thank you Zinquisha Mobetto. )

To me, it’s the way I’m built, seeing everyone and everything around me doing good really pushes me forward.

This was my pursuit of happiness where I almost lost myself but luckily I’ve learned to balance it all. Most of my posts are on happiness, I’ve tried running after one, searched inside myself, looked for it in friends and family but only to realize that happiness is me. I just read that the Indian government have introduced a “happiness” classes in their curriculum, well. I’ll leave it there.

Be good to yourself, change your routine, try something new even if it’s a small thing each week. Eat that vegetarian dish at lunch if you always eat meat, listen to some music that isn’t your normal cup of tea. Create variation and expand your comfort zone regularly in small ways. Pray and pray and pray. Be around friends who motivate you, friends who’ll listen to you, be kind to your folks, reconnect with what you used to love if it has fallen by the wayside and let things fall into place, focus your energy on the good things, don’t get lost buddy, forgive others but don’t forget to forgive yourself, feed the young child In you, you’re nothing without it, focus on your bright moments most, let the rough patches build you up, believe in yourself, all will be well trust me.

If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap

If you want happiness for a day – go fishing

If you want happiness for a year- inherit a fortune

If you want happiness for a lifetime- help someone else

Chinese proverb .

*Be good do good, if you need someone to talk to, feel free to hit up my dm or mail, I will respond.*

Cheers.

Waffles and honey… The Cheat-codes to Happiness

“Morini wangu, najisikia na ile ii ile mende”.

Somewhere back in 1995, pre school. Ibrahim has just ripped one of those melody singing robots (can’t seem to find its name) from one of the cards and he has carried it to school. Back then you had this, and you were ‘the man’.

Break time and the robot is singing melodiously as Ibrahim tries his best to hide it, this time we’re doing the above song that’s to be dedicated to one of our crush who’s a class above us. A light skin lady, legs so straight like the bamboo,super sleek with no blemishes, her face I can’t describe well up to this day,Sigh. Cindy Crawford comes close. We rehearse this song for a week and during each break session we’d try to approach our lady morini who never even bothered throwing a glance our way.

Two weeks down the line, I get transferred to another school but the hymn still playing in my head. Guess morini will never hear it,even in her dreams. I don’t know if Ibrahim made the move that day but all I know is that I let Love slip through my tiny hands, and the first love song I ever composed went down the drain.

Twenty two years later, still trying to figure out how a candle lit the sun, with the clouds that had covered everything. The sources that I tried all this while ever since the moon left with my shine.

I’ve been watching this candle from the sky all along,just looking at it lighting other sources , wax dripping off it but holding itself up each time.

Not until I left my dark clouds to talk to the candle did I get my rays back shining. The candle with its small flame did magic that day.

“There’s a girl living in my neighborhood……. Two souls where a river meets an ocean somewhere on a quiet beach freestyling to this John Holt’s song, “when she walks…… “love love love” another song pops up midway…

Cheat codes, you know those cheat codes in games where you can pull off and do special skills,well that you can do too in real life. I realized cheat codes is speaking your heart out, not holding anything back, turning a blind eye, deaf ears to anything that will try compromise your shine. Not sending your light to the wrong objects. Look for a source, shine your light upon it, if it doesn’t boomerang you’ re allowed to look for a different source. Ok this is not science 🤦🏽‍♂️.

The other day I played the mice when all she wanted was a camel, hump hump we pulled it off, everyday gets better. Life’s too short to not speak your heart, sing that worse tune in your head. Speak that gibberish language, make those stupid dance moves, count the stars because there’s someone who’ll understand it at the end.

I don’t understand this article but all I know is that a fish and a bird can fall in love, where they eat and live is up to them. I’m just a city mice leaving on a sandy beach in love with a crab and you bet we’ ll fish and live on it.

Be good.

Morini is Maureen….

By now you’ve all met Superstar… and now that I’ve met my solitude it’s time to protect it.
&l
e’re all a little weird, and life’s a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”Dr.Seus

Trying to relate….. I like you…..

I like you but I don’t like the world you live in. I don’t like you but I like how your world feels. Yes, people in their twenties where this statement applies well. 

Friday evening, I’m outside the house reading as I wait for dinner, my neighbor is making enchilada and I wouldn’t miss it for a thing in the world. (told you I’m a serious foodie). My phone rings. Mrembo x is in town, (by x I don’t mean my ex girlfriend, it’s a pseudonym for this article). She tells me she wants to link up as she’s in town only for the night, tricky tricky situation, I’ll have to forego the dinner. What to do? I agree to pick her up in an hour. I notify my neighbor that I won’t be in for dinner and she’s shocked as well 😂. I just tell her to save me some for later.

Fifty minutes later I’m at this girl’s address picking her up. (The thing is we have never met before. Just friends, we’ve been exchanging books from Nairobi to Mombasa ). Out comes a beautiful young lady nicely dressed and with a big smile worn on her face. “Hello I’m x, nice to finally meet you Moulidy.” Off we go. Destination English point Marina.

 I’m casually dressed in a grey oversized tee, a short and slippers. On the other hand she’s fully dressed for a prom night. I didn’t get the full memo it seems. I thought it was just another night. We place our orders. She wants the best wine in the house. I just get myself a simple cocktail. Five minutes later the waiter is at our table with the order. Pours the wine nicely, sticks around for another five minutes which seemed like eternity offering his expert opinion on the different types of wines, how to tell a good one, blah blah…..

We have the most shallow of conversations talking deep stuff with no sense and just laughing uncontrollably. Sigh. Food comes but she only takes a bite and she’s full. This is interesting now. I ask the waiter to pack it up for a takeaway. Another thirty minutes of blank conversation and our uber guy is outside waiting. I drop her off at her place with nothing but enchilada on my head.

I get home feast on my enchilada and forget about the night #ntgif (not thanking god it was Friday). 

Well this is just another story of my twenties. I don’t know her story and I don’t want to be rude but I think people should hold down into their own. What are we normally upto. I have flirted with Mrembo X for quite sometime online, had those imaginary babies during the “baby making weather.” Declaring her love. I just wanted the books. Maybe she wanted something, maybe she wanted my books, maybe my world. I don’t know. She hit me up days later saying she had the best time. Well, okeiy.

Imagine the world where we are all concerned with what people think of us and if they like us and how much better we feel when they do love us and how we don’t want to have to actually be in our bodies but rather parade them around looking perfect.

Oh wait. Right.

We live in the world. You and me and all the other pots calling the kettles black.

We get to create what the experience is like for ourselves.

We live in the world. There’s not much we can do to change that fact except not live in the world and that choice seems grim. We live in the world and we live in our bodies and the capacity to love is great. It’s so great that we don’t even have to do anything about it except acknowledge it and ask it to sit down for a glass of wine.It has a dog’s nose and can smell shit a mile away so don’t worry about that.

Hold down into your own. Be good.

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW 

Why is the weed growing on your sleeve? Why is there grass on your spoon? Why is a tree growing on your doorstep? Why are there bags under your eyes?

 

“Moulidy why have you stopped writing?”

“I haven’t stopped writing,I just don’t post it as much as I used to. I write for myself ”

Someone I look up to when it comes to writing just told me this words. She was a good writer, she still is a good writer. You should get to read her work. But her words will leave you on the edge of a cliff, wanting more. I tried my best to convince her to get back into writing, again, this were here words  “I’m my own audience, I write for myself”. 

Trust me I’ll go out of my way and eat meat to see her work again, Sigh. 

Anyway, this isn’t about her. This is about my first paragraph. The weed, that big tree, those bags, the grass and that big cloud blocking your view, obstructing each single ray coming your way. 

They say every cloud has a silver lining, why not open your eyes and see through it. The grass growing shouldn’t stop you from polishing that spoon, who knows it might be a silver spoon. Why not chop down that tree and make a door of opportunity. Why let the weed grow on your sleeve while it’s your heart that’s supposed to be there.

This one’s for your soul. You think you have too much darkness in your world praying for light, forgetting that there are stars above you. Open your eyes, don’t just carry those bags down there. Light will come when it’s intended to. When the time is right. Right now just enjoy the view while you can. The stars won’t be there forever. Squeeze away those thoughts.

What do you call a cold hotdog? I just read this in the morning and I couldn’t stop laughing. 

Some things will never lose their identity no matter the situation. Stay on your path, don’t try drift away into the unknown.

What do you call a frozen watermelon? 

All I’m trying to say is enjoy each moment of your life, the ups and downs and the in betweens. You’re a universe. The world is a part of you and not the other way round.

I just had one too many cups of coffee today, my colleague told me it’s international coffee day (who comes up with these things) we just couldn’t stop ourselves. I had to pick up a pen and put some life into these words during my lunch break session, doing this I had to forego biriani which is a Friday norm here in Mombasa. (Ukikula something else apart from biriani on a Friday Boss unachekwa)

Let these words put some air into your world in return.

If you get to know my friend just tell her to go back into sharing her work with the world. The universe needs it. I promise you’ll love her work. And to you my friend if you’re reading this,(I wish I could post a link of your work here on this piece of paper,Sigh) Just get back here and share your work, for the hundredth time asking.

Hey you universe. Wake up . Get that pruning saw, trim down those weeds, mow the grass, get an axe chop down that tree already or make a ladder out of its branch and enjoy its fruits. Put on some shades in the darkness stand under that cloud and enjoy the rain. The sun will rise tomorrow and you’ll love the rainbow. Just look at the stars, pluck an orange from that tree paint it blue and confuse the world. You’re the world . Be good do good.

**Title inspired by Israel Kamakawiwoʻole’s story**

Just keep swimming 

It took me a whole year to make a decision on watching this movie,and when I finally did last night I was glued to my screen,no flipping through my phone or any other stuff,just on finding dory, I didn’t really expect all that.Well, I wasn’t intending to watch it in the first place but since I hadn’t make my monthly internet payment it was the only movie on my machine that I could watch offline 🤦‍♂️ .

It happens sometimes. We find things, and things find us. Anyway after watching this movie I noticed there are a lot of things we can learn from it. Most of them might be generic but I think it’s good to be reminded. Because even if we’ve already heard it before, doesn’t mean we already know it.

I came through this few points some shared by other users online and they did hit home from my point of view.

Favorite part *•* hank’s role at the end credits*•*and the sea lion scene*•* 😁



When you want something, give something.

The part when Dory got lost was quite depressing. She tried to ask anyone she bumps into for help but nobody even tries. Until he found Marlin. It’s a scene in the prequel Finding Nemo where Marlin was crying for help because his son Nemo was taken. And you know the rest, Dory helps Marlin find Nemo.

So when the time came, Dory wanted to find her parents, and Marlin and Nemo were there to help.

We all want something, but we should remember that life is not all about taking. We may have cried for help before and got nothing. But that shouldn’t stop us from helping others.

“We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give” -Winston Churchill



There’s always another way





Dory’s parents may have looked like the simplest parents, but they always taught her the best lessons. This is a combination of persistence and creativity.

Things doesn’t always go the way we plan it, and sometimes it’s just completely different. Taking action itself is a hard work – You want something, you take action, then you fail. It’s just demotivating. But taking action is not just trying or doing one thing. Because there’s always another way.


What would Dory do?





Nemo and Marline were almost on deadend when trying to look for Dory. Until Nemo asked, “What would Dory do?”

As you know, Dory suffers from short-term memory loss. She easily forgets what’s going on. The result – she forgot thinking too much. Instead she focuses on what’s happening, and what can she do about it. No overthinking.

This is something we all need. A lot of times when were about to do something big, we get flooded by what if’s, and deep analization of things. We turn to the past for reference, and to the future for worries. But the best thing is always to turn to the present. What can you do, in this very moment?

“Do you know how we found you? We were having a really hard time until Nemo said, ‘What would Dory do?’” – Marlin


Just keep swimming





This may be the shortest and most generic lesson but it’s something that we should never forget.

We get knocked out, life shits on us – When life gets you down , do you know what you’ve gotta do? Just keep swimming.


Follow your seashells





“I love seashells” – Dory

Dory loved seashells like her mother. Because of her condition, her parents always displayed a path of seashells to their house. So whenever she gets lost, she knows where to go back to.

But the seashells also represents what Dory loved – what she wanted. And it was always what guided her all along. She’s gone to places and has been lost for a long time but it’s what she wanted that helped her find the way. They’re what taught her the lesson that…

“You can do whatever you put your mind to”

–Jenny

Dory suffers from short term memory loss. Wait, did I already tell you that? Did I forget again? Haha!

She might have that condition but, it didn’t stop her from finding her parents. Because everything is just about how you perceive it. It’s you who can decide whether you can do something or not. When you’ve really decided on something, the universe will know; and it’s decided.


If you can count well, that’s just six. Let’s make that seven. 




Joie de vivre… In Thrall of Dreams

I have read books on happiness, listened to songs about happiness, lectured on happiness by friends. Seen those boring clichés inspirational quotes on happiness and the nuggets of wisdoms doing round on social media each and every morning I scroll through my timeline. Everyone is trying to get that positive attitude and manifest it into their life. It’s time to band together and take a stand to find the real cause of happiness. Well they say it’s just a moment but as humans we tend to attach this to things or people, which is not that bad. But when does it get serious? When you don’t have control over your own source of happiness.






Like it’s never easy to let go something we’ve grown accustomed to. Or is it? 

Most of us would agree that there are few things harder than letting go of what we love. And yet, sometimes that’s exactly what we have to do. Sometimes we love things that we can’t have. 
Sometimes we want things that are not good for us. And sometimes we love what the almighty does not love.

To let go of these things is hard. Giving up something the heart adores is one of the hardest battles we ever have to fight. But what if it didn’t have to be such a battle? What if it didn’t have to be so hard? Could there ever be an easy way to let go of an attachment? Yes. There is. 
Find something better. They say you don’t get over someone/something until you find someone or something better. As humans, we don’t deal well with emptiness. Any empty space must be filled. Immediately.

The pain of emptiness is too strong. It compels the victim to fill that place. A single moment with an empty spot causes excruciating pain. That’s why we run from distraction to distraction, and from attachment to attachment. 

In the quest to free the heart, we speak a lot about breaking our false dependencies. But then there’s always the question of ‘how?’ Once a false attachment has been developed, how do we break free? Often it feels too hard. We get addicted to things, and can’t seem to let them go. Even when they hurt us. Even when they damage our lives and our bond with the Almighty. Even when they are so unhealthy for us. We just can’t let them go. We are too dependent on them. We love them too much and in the wrong way. They fill something inside of us that we think we need…that we think we can’t live without. And so, even when we struggle to give them up, we often abandon the struggle because it’s too hard. 
Why does that happen? Why do we have so much trouble sacrificing what we love? Why can’t we just let go of things? 

I think we struggle so much with letting go of what we love, because we haven’t found something we love more to replace it. Look at it from this perspective.

When a child falls in love with a toy car, he becomes consumed with that love. But what if he can’t have the car? What if he has to walk by the store every day, and see the toy he can’t have? Every time he walks by, he would feel pain. And he may even struggle not to steal it. Yet, what if the child looks past the store window and sees a Real car? What if he sees the Real Ferrari? Would he still struggle with his desire for the toy? Would he still have to fight the urge to steal it? Or would he be able to walk right past the toy—the disparity in greatness annihilating the struggle? 

We want love. We want money. We want status. We want this life. And like that child, we too become consumed with these loves. So, when we can’t have those things, we are that child in a store, struggling not to steal them. We are struggling not to commit haram for the sake of what we love. We are struggling to let go of the haram relationships, business dealings, actions, dress. We are struggling to let go of the love of this life. We are the stumbling servant struggling to let go of the toy because it’s all we see. 
This whole life and everything in it is like that toy car. We can’t let go of it because we haven’t found something greater. We don’t see the Real thing. The Real version. The Real model. 

The Real version is better in quality and better in quantity. No matter how great what we love in this life is, it will always have some deficiency, in both quality (imperfections) and quantity (temporary). 

This is not to say that we cannot have or even love things of this life. We are told to ask for good in this life and the next. But it is like the toy car and the real car. While we could have or even enjoy the toy car, we realize the difference. The more we can see the Real thing, the easier it becomes to give up the ‘unreal’—when necessary. That does not mean we have to give up the ‘unreal’ completely, or all the time.
If we are asked to refrain from a prohibition that we want, it becomes easier. If we are asked to be firm in a commandment that we don’t want, it becomes easier. We become the matured child who likes to have the toy, but if ever asked to choose between the toy and the Real thing, see a ‘no- brainer’.

So, in letting go, the answer lies in love. Fall in love. Fall in love with something greater. Fall in love with the Real thing. Don’t attach your happiness to things. Each day comes with its blessings. Change your perspective on happiness. Don’t be a slave to your dream that you forget to live in the moment. 

See the Mansion. Only then, will we stop playing in the dollhouse.

(************Quickcook*************)

Divine sorrow : Ask the Sun

“The world isn’t over yet…We’ve still got a chance to place our bets…. Before we lose everything, we have tomorrow…. Can we forget what went wrong yesterday?

This is one of my favorite go to song whenever I’m feeling blue. In my previous post I told you how I deal with these moments.


Today I want to focus on another different subject. Challenges and how we perceive them.
We all face challenges and restraints, reality is that we can’t have everything we want, as human beings we’re inherently imperfect. We should learn to deal with what is at our disposal, calamities can be a blessing in disguise.

Here’s one of my favorite stories that I thought you should read.


Sometimes you’re struck by a calamity and you dont know how to deal with. This calamity might be good for you in the long run.


An old man went to make a report at a police station. He tells his story. He has seven blind kids and he has been looking for means for them to get their eyesight back. 

He is told that there is a skilled doctor in another city but he would need quite an amount of money in order for the operation to be done.
It takes him a while to raise this sum through fundraising and small jobs in the streets.
One morning as he was planning to take his kids for the operation something happens. Leaving the money in a borrowed car, he enters the house to pick up the kids, coming out the car is nowhere to be found. No money no car and worst of it all this means no treatment for the kids. (You can imagine how this felt.)




The officer at the reception tries to offer him some encouraging words, telling him that this moment might be a blessing in disguise, but the old man doesn’t put that much thought into his words and he leaves the station.

A few days later the old man receives a call from the police officer. He has some good news that he wants to share. The old man also has his good news. The officer notifies him that the car was found abandoned in some desert and the money intact. This they found was just taken by some reckless kids who just went for a ride and when the car ran out of fuel they left it behind.

The old man goes on with his part, he tells the officer that a few days after the car incident, one morning all his kids woke up with their sights back.

Now imagine what would have happened if he took the kids to the specialist, the outcome wouldn’t have been the same given that it was a risk and a 50/50 chance for the kids to have their sights back through operation.

This is a true story. All I’m trying to put forward here is that whenever something befalls you, that which you don’t understand, a tough situation, you just have to hold on and believe in his plans.

Hang in there buddy. All will be well, believe in his timing and do you, the best you can. 

*Blessed. The world is yours.*

Read me like a book & someday I’ll keep you….

Can you remember a period in your life when, if you look back on it now, time seemed to stretch on forever? When a week seemed like four, or an hour seemed like it went on for days? What were you doing during that period?Chances are, you were probably doing something (or a whole bunch of somethings) that was brand new to you and demanded your attention. The funny thing is, by focusing on what you were doing, you actually slowed down time (or how your brain perceived that time, anyway).

My week just felt like a month, every second was just worth it.

A small break from everything was needed, from the daily routine and normalcy. The only regret being that I couldn’t hold a pen or let mo jnr do the talking.

I had different plans when I was taking my leave a week earlier; protect my energy, write, write, write and solitude, not even Susan Miller was to be let in.

One of the best things happened. Family and old friends chipped in, unplanned. The best of the plans is those unplanned.

Mama Salma and Mama Nadia were in town. It being the first time for mama Salma, I had to ensure she got the perfect experience. The trips to fort Jesus, getting things off my bucket list on the way as well. I’ve been in Mombasa for three years now but in the ocean only once.

The best I could do for Masalma was to put everything on hold and be with her, it was more of a payback since she’d tease me “wewe unajua nilikuwa nakubeba ukiwa mtoto.” (I used to carry you on my back when you were a kid)

My good friend Shote was also around with his beautiful wife, by now you know nothing cheers me up more than some good nostalgic moments and some depressing music. The way I see it, these songs aren’t about the depression and down times, but more looking at the happier times from a place of darkness. And if you’re in a dark room and someone shines a torch in your eyes it seems pretty frickin’ bright. Shine a torch in your eyes in daylight and you won’t bat an eyelid. For me the same rule applies with this sort of melancholy music. This time it was the nostalgic moments, a good catch up on the crocodile farm, the stupid stuffs we used to do back in high school among other throwback stuffs that I won’t talk about here.

This, I decided should be a regular thing, even to you (you should try it). The crazy part being we spent an entire day in the ocean (sunscreens for who), the sunburns were real my friend. Usually I’d go to the beach just to watch the horizon and dispose all my thoughts there, this time  the horizon was on me, I was a human fish, setting a new record, hoping it will stand for a while.

Fast forward to three days later, the partner in crime Aftarari Mr. calls, he’s in town, we have to catch up, what normally happens when he’s around; milking cows and drinking it straight without boiling. (don’t read in between the lines)

We meet up at 7pm and the first act in “ukora kama kawaida” (same old stuff), again I won’t mention it, Bonaya knows it well. There’s a surprise addition at our table, the beautiful miss Dhirre. The norm, nostalgia, throwback memories. It’s as good as it gets, the ratchetness, an Uber driver story for another day. We decide to link up the next day at our favorite porridge joint. The usual cups of porridge a good talk, I introduce these two to Susan miller (Missus  Miller wasn’t to be allowed in during my short break,can’t just manage to resist her). 

The effect is the same, they are also blown away, we just get in sync with each other, it’s amazing how the simplest of things  being ignored can bring people so close. Well you go and check her out here

They’re finalizing their stay and so we decide to go on a World Cup tour, not your girl’s tour (drakes voice) 

It’s just refreshing, with all this positive energy in such a short period of time and the difference it can make. Surround yourself with like-minded people, and watch your energy blossom.


(This was just a short explanation for not writing since I told you it’s all that’s left. July just kicked on some sky-high note, the new moon and its energies. 

A small apology to you my favorite reader and to my co-pilot Sir Alan Githinji for going dark on you. 

A big thank you to those who reached out asking about the silence.)

*Words go around, the world goes in a round, life goes on and mou rites.*

Tattoos with a better story 

Most of us have two lives, the life we live and the unlived life within us. I’ll concentrate on the former. Sir Alan picked a theme, scars from the past and we both agreed it’d be a tricky one, but remember nothing sets your soul free than putting your words on a piece of paper for the universe to read.

I’m a believer that one should write something worth reading about and if not do something or live a life worth writing about. 

Scars, I decide to go with physical scars, the one I never got the chance to talk about or let the world know. 

By now you all know about my Harry Porter scar, that lord Voldemort’s signature spread through my forehead. No Sorcerer’s stone here. 

Every person I meet would stare at it for a while and curiously ask about it. I’d ignore some and to the persistent ones put them off with “it’s a long story buddy.”

 

Here’s the long story made short

 The year is 2003, I can’t recall the exact dates, something that disturbs me up to this day. On our way home from Madrassa, we usually walked home in pairs and in a straight line; not allowed to greet strangers and if you did, or break the line, Maalim (religious teacher) would be notified first thing at 5:30am the following morning during our next session. You’d choose someone to cane you, that’s if Maalim wasn’t in the mood, we’d always rush to someone who we thought would have mercy on us but he(Maalim) would always pick another person to do the work, but this story is not about those scars left by the canes.


 

At this diversion, we parted ways with our cousins and it was Yassin (my younger sibling) and I who were last since our home was further than the rest.

Screams all around us, turning around I see Yass diving away and out of the blue like a matador who has given up; this giant bull with much ferocity lifts me up with its blunt horns and throws me to the ground, tramples on my chest and forehead just above my eye socket. 

That was fast. I wake up but everything around me is spinning at an alarming rate, I’m back on the ground, phantosmia kicks in but the smell of the fresh soil balances this awful odor. 

My mind is distracted by the clear blue sky and two tiny clouds above my head. They are nearer than usual. Someone interrupts this moment lifts me and puts me under a shade. I’m surrounded by women screaming and crying, people doing nothing just staring at me, all this time I’m in a world of my own, busy smiling. 

Next thing I know this guy makes his way into the middle of the crowd, removes his imama (turban), ties it tightly on my open wound and carries me on his shoulder, he’s off running with me asking me to hold on tight. I recognize that voice.

The two tiny clouds are still above my head, following us. Still smiling my vision is getting blurry, the same voice is back, “mosh amka baba (wake up dad).” There’s a fear in that voice that I never felt before.

We get to the hospital, the surgeon is nowhere to be found, fifteen minutes later he appears. There are no stitching materials (Kenyan government hospitals for you). He sends for a nurse.

I can’t forget his bald face and his worried look telling me that I’ll be fine. I’m told he did fourteen stitches on my wound. 

On my way to the ward, hundreds of people are out there at the hospital corridor, some crying knowing that I’m dead, calling out my name. Five hours later I’m taken home.

At our compound there’s a huge gathering, I can’t see everyone clearly but they all want to catch a glimpse of me. I can hear my momma crying and chanting some prayers. 

Everything goes black. But the voices are much clearer now. I hear them talking about it being a miracle that I’m still alive; that the bull had been chased down and has been held captive, that the foot it stepped on my forehead was its limping one. I hear the owner of the bull agree to the elder statesmen demand, to deliver a goat every week until I recover fully.

Students from my Madrassa would arrive each morning to do dua(prayers) for me. This we usually did to every ailing soul out there upon request. Kid’s dua are readily accepted and we were a special bunch of kids back then, well that’s what the community usually used to say. This time round I was the one getting this special favor. They would surround me and everyone would place their right hand on a part of my body and do the dua. It felt good. 

I couldn’t see their faces but I knew each and every tone of my nineteen classmates. I couldn’t hold back my tears. This went on for a while and I was getting better with each dua session. 

All this time Yassin would be by my side, having every goodie that I turned down, as kids, falling sick would guarantee you anything you ever wanted. I wish this was the same right now. 

The only thing I enjoyed and still enjoy up to this day is Koche/ oodkac (special dried and fried meat). This I wouldn’t share with anyone. 


Two months later I was up, ready to go to school but against the doctor’s will. My parents were also against it. I was back in class with my huge bandage on.

On my way home, I’d pass the same spot and looking up I’d smile knowing that I cheated on death.


Fifteen years later, I’m still afraid of cows, I’ll take a different path if I see it coming my way. The scar is still going down my face as the doctor predicted, waiting for it to disappear into my mouth. But hey it’s here for a good memory. Wear your scar with pride.

So next time you meet me and you want to know about my Harry Porter scar, I’ll just copy this story’s link on your forehead. 

Oh, and the guy with the turban who picked me up that day was my hero, he still is up to now. The soldier I told you whose beat I only march to.  

 

*Happy Father’s Day to you poppa, and to all the fathers out there. *